its festive period. CNY. valentines. hannan's bdae. my bdae. our 8 month. all in the same month. in the same week. goodness gracious. CNY has nothing to do with me but nonetheless a happy new year to my chinese friends. i did not celebrate alentines tho cause hannan's working. apparently i was looking forward to hannan's bdae. but after months of planning and saving up, it all came to nothing. i shall not disclose that matter cause it wont make me enticed in any way. for that matters. oh and i've gotten an advance birthday wish from beloved dad. his wish for me. pretty redundant to an 18 year old girl. but nonetheless thank you so much. i think i'll begin to appreciate it someday somehow. and again whatever wish he has for me, i shall not disclose it here. cos its my gift :)


i prayed to god while i still can. for him to accept whoever he is. however hard his heart is to crack, i just prayed and wished one day, one fine day, his heart will open up to him. i do not ask for more. just some blessing and LOVE.

but i guess, or i can assume things are not going to be the same anymore between us. but i hope this is not 'its over' for us cause severing ties with you will be the last thing i want to happen. because without you theres no me. you play a part in my birth. but now. now. i dont know what nice words i have left for you to tell anyone. nothing good is left.


this might be a little abstruse for you avid readers of mine. so i apologise. i dont know how else to vent it out to. so i seek refuge from this small world i built with you sweethearts. i just long for some love...and hugs.

Labels: was it me or you who's fucked up