wrong. really wrong. what the hell is wrong with me. i just always had to screw things up. i was happy. i am happy. i am happy throughout my days with you. but i just had to screw it over and over again. seriously what the hell is wrong with me? i got the near-perfect boyfriend and i screw it. i made shits and then make you clean after me. how the hell could i posibly have the cheek to do that. i have such grotesque attitude. while you have the most pulchritudinous disposition God has gave you. i'm ashamed. ashame to face you. i dont know what else to do with this filthy attitude of mine. its so smelly nobody can stand it. i feel like shit. maybe mong yi's right. i am the shit. only after i saw the video you made for me in which i posted to my extras page, i realised how wonderfully sweet we are together. we grew closer much closer now. but in between all that sweetness...?
i love you. i really do. but i think i'm getting too obsessed with you until the screws and cables in my head intertwined. i dont know what to think anymore. i apologise i realised i have been too clingy and i read somewhere that man hates too clingy woman. i back down. you're my everything that i couldnt ask for more. but now i'm really too ashamed to face you. really. i don't know what got into my imbecile head of mine to blurt out those unfavored words. how could i spit it out to you from that buccal cavity of mine? i'm feeling really really down. my sis was really concern she told us not to quarrel. or more like she told me not to quarrel with you. yes i admit. i am always the firestarter. oh my god. this is not the post i was looking forward to.
the moment i sent it to you, i had goosebumps. i fear. i fear for the worst. but im surprised you could swallow it all just like that. and i allowed you to swallow it. to take it all in. i'm such a bad person. i really feel that i am now. its proven right? i've made it so clear to you how my ugly manners took over me. i shouldn't have. shouldn't have. why everytime i tried to change, in the midst of my happiness, my grotesque attitude kept coming back. i couldn't take control of the situation and i make things worse. i hurt people. i hurt you. i promised myself, that when God has given me the greatest gift, i must not hurt him, because he is so very precious to me, i can't let this beauty go....give me room for improvement. i want to change. give me time and space to breathe. i don't want to hurt you no more. i want you to be happy.

i let you fly. i'm going on a holiday.....................

Labels: fly baby fly